"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

Monday, October 17, 2011

Me @ 33

“The more I live, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I realize, the less I know.”

At age 33 I am happy.

I love my husband, I love my kids, I love being a mother and a homemaker. I love my life.

We recently made a big move that was somewhat challenging for me. I really miss being closer to family and friends. But I am happy in my new surroundings. I feel overwhelmingly blessed.

At 33 I am just now beginning to feel like I'm more of an adult and less of a child. I feel confident in my abilities to accomplish tasks, to be a leader, to fulfill church callings, to be an artist, and to be a mother. I rarely get asked, "So, what grade are you in?" (A common occurrence in my late 20's.) Now I just get asked, "Are those children ALL yours?"

I find that in some situations people are intimidated by me, and I'm not sure why. (I'm like 5 feet tall.) I'm learning that I can at times be overbearing and controlling. I always thought I was more soft spoken and easy-going. It's funny how we perceive ourselves. I also find that some adults don't know what to make of me. I'm often ignored or dismissed by figures of authority or the people "in charge". It used to bother me quite a bit, but it doesn't bother me in the least now.

I think it's natural to contemplate one's existence when birthdays come along. I had a small crisis when I approached my 30th birthday and realized that I hadn't painted anything significant for such a long time. So I completed about 50 paintings within a few months. Averie was about Rylan's age then. It was crazy, but I was almost obsessed with getting those paintings finished. I wish I had more of that motivation now.

At age 33 I am realizing how short life really is, and how quickly it goes by. My baby boy Mason is almost 10! Is it possible? My 21 month-old baby just learned to skip. Few things give me greater pleasure than watching him do so. I realize how quickly these moments pass by. I'm trying to live more in the moment and to enjoy these quickly fleeting moments with my sweet children. And let's be honest, some days are more trying than others.

At age 33 I'm hoping to have a permanent home in the near future. I love our rental, but I'm already totally over it. I'm hoping and praying that someone will buy our Idaho house this year. I desperately want an art studio someday that does not double as my bedroom. That, and I'm mourning my lack of garden and yard.

At age 33 I am still trying to figure it all out. How does one balance exercise, proper nutrition, scripture study, a strong marriage, individual time with each child, personal prayer, church service, continuing education, personal improvement, AND still keep a clean house?

A mystery.

Maybe I'll figure it out in my next 33 years.


Crysti said...

Hope your day was great yesterday! It was good to talk to you last week. We miss you and your family!


Shatzi said...

I love this! You are such a beautiful person. I feel so blessed to be your friend.

Brittany said...

When you figure that out, please let me know. Hope and pray that your house sells. And also...I'm a little bit intimidated by you because you can accomplish so much in one day.

Debbie Murdock said...

Hope you had a great birthday Britt. I still feel bad that I lost contact with you after college(my life wasn't all peaches so I shut everyone out) but I'm glad now I get to see how successful you have been both in your personal life and professional. It took a long time to find you again but glad that I did. You inspire me to want to keep going. I find the older one gets the more you realize we as people have so much more to still learn and the learning possibilities are endless.

wienerhoneymooners said...

Reflection on your birthday....ha..

Well, my next bday is 43...And you will stop the wondering, and just lose yourself in the moment of enjoying. As you know God provides.

Though I do hope you get to garden too!!!

Hey, I am making an An Oatmeal Caramel Apple crisp for Fridays potluck, those apples would come in handy :)

carol said...

I love this. You are gorgeous, inside and out. Here's to your next 33 years!